If you love a bit of romance and a splash of drama, raise your hands!
I’m a romantic at heart. Not surprising, is it, since I’m neck deep into being a romance novelist, Contemporary Christian Romance, that is. So cliché. But why not? Why ever not? Especially as I’ve had my share of interesting adventures on the affairs of the heart. I’ve loved and been loved. Don’t even get me started on love. And while on that subject, I’d like to venture into the equally dicey area of dating.
Because I know there are Ghanaians, Nigerians, Americans, Angolans, Togolese, Indians, Liberians, and gosh, all of you reading this, can you let me know what dating means to you? (Just leave a comment after the post or send me a message!)
Culturally, I’m not sure dating is even a thing here in Ghana (do you agree?).
My dad gave me this book, How to Find a Date Worth Keeping. I read it. Maybe three times. And that is how I became a serial dater.
Lemme explain what I mean and what better way than a few real life examples.
So I go out with this guy. It’s a movie date. I like the movie, but I like the guy even more. But it turns out he has a girlfriend already. Can you imagine? And your girl figured this out months later. (The adventures I’ve had, rolling my eyes) But after that movie date, the following week actually, I’m out again. A different guy. I’m not into him because I’m still thinking about Movie Guy. But this other guy likes me enough for the two of us.
Another guy makes me tea and in the spirit of full disclosure, it was Pakistani. The guy, not the tea.
And then I’m out again, another movie night, another date. Some fast food. A few long walks. I even learned bits of languages here and there (most of it forgotten because my foreign language skills are temperamental).
Yes, I was a serial dater. Date after date after date. Don’t be judging me now because that’s how you’ll go and marry the first guy that says you are the only sunshine in his solar system without even figuring out what you like in a man. Which is why I was dating in the first place. It was very good for me. Sometimes a lot of drama but it did the work of helping me know myself and what made me tick. Take it like a practical course.
Dating is just that. Getting to know a person and getting to know yourself, too. But some of us ladies like to be exclusive. As in, you see a guy today and by tomorrow you and he are the only ones allowed to be in love. Girl, are you crazy? Be his friend. Go out with him. Fight with him. Laugh. Argue. Cry. That’s what’s real. (Oh, there are exceptions, don’t bite my head off!)
But don’t let a guy (or gal, gender balance, eish!) con you into feeling guilty about dating other guys or being exclusive when you are not ready to. If he wants the real you, he’ll stick around.
Or maybe you are a serial girlfriend sort of woman; one boyfriend to the next. One intense relationship after the other. The men around you are either in the brother or boyfriend zone. No friend zone for you. Girl, what’s up with that?
Of course, there are those of you who get it right the very first time. Good for you! But you are such a rarity. True or Yes?
But for everyone else (and you know you should keep dating your man even after you are married), if you can, go on a date and have fun! You’re not a “bad” girl for dating. You hear me?
I’ve not dated in a while for various reasons, one of them being that I don’t think a first date usually includes spending it holed up in his room. Where’s the adventure? The fun?
How’s it going for you? Are you in love? Or just dating?
Psst…have you checked out my novels (GUILTY AS GRACE & LEMONADE: A Novel) on Amazon yet? Plus, LEMONADE is FREE!!! Yup, my gift to you. Happy Reading! And definitely leave me a comment to let me know how it goes. And if you’ve already read 1or 2, I’d really appreciate a review!